Networking for Introverts: Taking the First Step
Posted on July 17th, 2010 in Small Business, Students | No Comments »
Yesterday, we posted a tidy little piece on networking. That piece was, of course, only scraping the surface of what we hope will eventually become a networking guide from which every member of the OrangeSlyce community can benefit. Today, we’re talking about the aspect of networking that stops the painfully shy dead in their tracks: introducing yourself.
We called this post networking for introverts for one big reason: introducing yourself is obviously a much more daunting task for the painfully shy. But, as we said yesterday, it’s a step that even the painfully shy can easily overcome with a little work and a lot of willpower. If you find your palms getting clammy and your throat swelling up every time you’re at a mixer, here are a few handy tips you can follow to overcome yourself.
1) Think of other people as friends
One thing that makes it hard to break the ice is that you don’t know how well you’ll be received by the other person. People tend to be very tribal by instinct, and it can be hard to just walk up to a person from an unfamiliar “tribe” (this, by the way, is also why you sometimes find yourself occasionally hating on groups of people you don’t even know when you’re out in public). When it comes to approaching these people, you worry (on some level) that your encroachment won’t be well-received, that the other person will be annoyed by your presence (or worse). If you start worrying about this, ask yourself: why? Are you ever deeply bothered by a person introducing themselves to you? Of course not; the other person will almost certainly enjoy the company.
Remember that networking is mutually beneficial. Just about any person that’s worth networking with will at least spare you a smile and a business card if you introduce themselves to you–they have nothing to gain by not being friendly and everything to lose. Because of this, the people you want to network with are, to borrow a phrase, just friends you haven’t met. Don’t be afraid to go meet them.
2) Realize that a lot of the other people in the room are just as nervous as you are
This study by Lauren Bryant at Indiana University suggests that about 40% of adults feel shy. Keep in mind the fact that surveys almost always under-report undesirable qualities (in other words: some people are too shy to admit that they’re shy) and it’s feasible that around half of the adult population is shy. Chances are there are that a lot of the people you might network in are in the exact same boat that you are. Wouldn’t you like it if someone kind walked up to you and took the first step? Imagine how endearing that would be to you when you’re trying to work up the nerve to introduce yourself, and then be that person for someone else in the room.
3) Have some open-ended questions prepared in advance
Another thing people often worry about when networking is making conversation. “What happens” you wonder “if I introoduce myself and then we have nothing to talk about? Awwwwkwaaaaaard!” Fortunate ly, first impressions rarely require you to hold intimate conversations. All you’re really trying to do is show the other person that you’re interested in getting to know them better (and not just using them as a means to an end–this is an important point that deserve its own post) and taking the steps necessary to do that. As such, it’s important that you have a few questions to ask them. These questions should not be yes or no; you want to bring the other person out of their shell a little bit. Don’t just ask the person what she does, ask her how she got into it, ask her what she did before that. If you ask her if she likes doing what she does, follow that question up with “what do you love (or hate) about it?”
4) Smile!
Sorry, we know it’s cheesy, but a good smile is important. Smiling is your way of telling someone from a rival “tribe” that you’re not a threat. It’s also very hard not to smile back when somebody smiles at you, which is good, because it will be a lot easier for you to approach someone when they’re smiling too. Stay professional, but be friendly (and, as we said yesterday, be yourself) and you’ll be well on your way to being the networker you want to be.
